Omgosh... I'm in love. No, not really. But I had the most amazing date last night.
He is the friend of a friend and I had met him before the date, but I was dating Dickhead at the time so I didn't think too much of it. Now, he's moved to the city and he found my okcupid profile (yes, embarrassing) and we agreed to meet for dinner. It was awesome. He's perfect. He took me out, we got drinks, he bought dinner, we walked around the city, and then he put me in a cab and sent me on my way.
I got home and texted said friend and guess what she said... He liked me too! Apparently "I'm awesome and we had a fantastic time." Score! Now I'm supposed to be working and I can't even concentrate because I want him to text me and ask me out again. I feel like a sixteen year old girl who just went out on her first date. What is happening in my life?!?
What was the best first date you've ever experienced? Was it with your current boyfriend/fiance/husband?
Friday, June 14, 2013
Sunday, June 9, 2013
Combating Boredom
It's hard.. We've all been there at some point. You're laying around on a Sunday afternoon with absolutely nothing to do. All your friends are busy, the random guy you've been halfway seeing isn't texting you back, and your cat wants nothing to do with you. Well, here's my Top Five list of how to beat that boredom and become a better person for you.
1.) Take a walk, ride your bike, or go for a swim. Do some kind of physical activity that will get your blood pumping and get you excited for the rest of the day. Plus, it'll make you feel better and look better, and those are always a plus when you're on the prowl for your future husband.
2.) Make a new recipe. I know you're on Pinterest and I know you have Recipes board. Find one that sounds delicious and spend some time perfecting it. You can give your neighbors some if you make too much, plus it'll make your house smell good.
3.) Read a book. Not some romcom that is going to make you wish you had a man to keep you warm at night. A real book - think Gone With the Wind or Jane Eyre. Pick up the book you've always wished you had time to read and actually read it. You'll be glad you did.
4.) Write in a journal or on a blog. Take the time to really set down how you're feeling. Even if no one ever reads it, it'll help you to have your feelings down, and it'll really make you take the time to figure yourself out. Plus, you can always come back to it in twenty years and have a good laugh at how young and naive you were at this point in your life.
5.) If all else fails, watch Netflix and get caught up on the one TV show that all your friends are talking about. Some days you need to just lounge around in bed and watch ten straight hours of CSI: Miami. Hey, I'm not judging.
And remember, if you like the blog be sure to follow us on Twitter at@StrugglesofSWF
1.) Take a walk, ride your bike, or go for a swim. Do some kind of physical activity that will get your blood pumping and get you excited for the rest of the day. Plus, it'll make you feel better and look better, and those are always a plus when you're on the prowl for your future husband.
2.) Make a new recipe. I know you're on Pinterest and I know you have Recipes board. Find one that sounds delicious and spend some time perfecting it. You can give your neighbors some if you make too much, plus it'll make your house smell good.
3.) Read a book. Not some romcom that is going to make you wish you had a man to keep you warm at night. A real book - think Gone With the Wind or Jane Eyre. Pick up the book you've always wished you had time to read and actually read it. You'll be glad you did.
4.) Write in a journal or on a blog. Take the time to really set down how you're feeling. Even if no one ever reads it, it'll help you to have your feelings down, and it'll really make you take the time to figure yourself out. Plus, you can always come back to it in twenty years and have a good laugh at how young and naive you were at this point in your life.
5.) If all else fails, watch Netflix and get caught up on the one TV show that all your friends are talking about. Some days you need to just lounge around in bed and watch ten straight hours of CSI: Miami. Hey, I'm not judging.
And remember, if you like the blog be sure to follow us on Twitter at
Really Good No-Strings-Attached Sex
Last night was AWESOME. Literally AWESOME. I got drunk with my best friend, Dickhead drunk-texted me a bunch of apologies and I said "go fuck yourself," and I had super good amazing sex. Best part about it is that he's leaving for another country on Thursday and I won't have to see him again until September.. If I ever even want to see him again.
High five to me. Good sex does exist outside of a relationship, and I found it. And I don't want anything else from him. Double high five to me.
Don't think I'm a total whore, because I'm not. I don't sleep with random men - I've known this guy for nearly a year and he's just never tried anything with me because I've always had a boyfriend. I don't just sleep with men when I'm lonely, but I knew him and he told me I was hot and had an awesome body (hell yeah!) and thought that my Bs were Ds. Despite the fact that someone has clearly been lying to him about boob sizes for his entire life, the sex was awesome and it really helped me get over things with Dickhead. Apparently he's not the only one I can orgasm with, and that feels amazing.
So for all of you newly-single somewhat-promiscuous ladies out there... Here's my advice. Find a hot man who you have no feelings for whatsoever and then ravage his body like you never have to see him again. And unless you want to, don't. It's liberating. Men can do it and not feel guilty, so why can't we?
Am I giving bad advice here? What was the best way you got through a break-up sans sex?
High five to me. Good sex does exist outside of a relationship, and I found it. And I don't want anything else from him. Double high five to me.
Don't think I'm a total whore, because I'm not. I don't sleep with random men - I've known this guy for nearly a year and he's just never tried anything with me because I've always had a boyfriend. I don't just sleep with men when I'm lonely, but I knew him and he told me I was hot and had an awesome body (hell yeah!) and thought that my Bs were Ds. Despite the fact that someone has clearly been lying to him about boob sizes for his entire life, the sex was awesome and it really helped me get over things with Dickhead. Apparently he's not the only one I can orgasm with, and that feels amazing.
So for all of you newly-single somewhat-promiscuous ladies out there... Here's my advice. Find a hot man who you have no feelings for whatsoever and then ravage his body like you never have to see him again. And unless you want to, don't. It's liberating. Men can do it and not feel guilty, so why can't we?
Am I giving bad advice here? What was the best way you got through a break-up sans sex?
Friday, June 7, 2013
Follow-Up on the "The Friend"
So you know how I said that one of my guy friends went weird after Dickhead and I broke up and he confessed all his feelings to me... Well, I decided to be nice and we went out for dinner/drinks last night. The moral of the story here is this: men are confusing!
After he spent months suppressing his feelings and then blurted them all out to me via phone, you think he would've tried to make this a "date". Mostly, I don't know what it was. We went to a downtown bar to watch the hockey and basketball games and then played pool and ping pong. I'm a pretty decent pool player, so I kicked his ass but then he handed it right back to me in ping pong, so I guess we can call it a draw. And even though we got food and drinks, I offered to pay for my half and he let me.
What the hell? I've never been on a first date where I had to pay for my half. He did do the gentlemanly thing of walking me back to my apartment, and when I invited him up he decided to stay for a bit. We spent the next couple hours chatting (like friends) and by this time I had realized that the buses had stopped running. Being the nice person that I am (and kind of wondering what we would say) I offered to let him stay the night since I didn't want him walking through gang-land alone. He declined. Right away. Without a second thought.
What the hell, right? Even when I walked him to the door he didn't try to kiss me or anything. I don't know where in the hell we stand, but I did get a good morning message from him this morning and that's not normal friendly behavior. I have zero idea what to think... Am I just leading him on here? Is he leading me on? What is this?
Have any of you ever been in this situation? What do you think is going on inside his mind?
After he spent months suppressing his feelings and then blurted them all out to me via phone, you think he would've tried to make this a "date". Mostly, I don't know what it was. We went to a downtown bar to watch the hockey and basketball games and then played pool and ping pong. I'm a pretty decent pool player, so I kicked his ass but then he handed it right back to me in ping pong, so I guess we can call it a draw. And even though we got food and drinks, I offered to pay for my half and he let me.
What the hell? I've never been on a first date where I had to pay for my half. He did do the gentlemanly thing of walking me back to my apartment, and when I invited him up he decided to stay for a bit. We spent the next couple hours chatting (like friends) and by this time I had realized that the buses had stopped running. Being the nice person that I am (and kind of wondering what we would say) I offered to let him stay the night since I didn't want him walking through gang-land alone. He declined. Right away. Without a second thought.
What the hell, right? Even when I walked him to the door he didn't try to kiss me or anything. I don't know where in the hell we stand, but I did get a good morning message from him this morning and that's not normal friendly behavior. I have zero idea what to think... Am I just leading him on here? Is he leading me on? What is this?
Have any of you ever been in this situation? What do you think is going on inside his mind?
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
The Post-Breakup Phone Call
Well Dickhead and I finally hashed things out a little. I texted him about the "Did it hurt when you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?" tweet he sent, and it all went downhill from there. Eventually he called and we agreed to be civil, and for the first time since we broke up we talked about things. He gave me some answers I'd been looking for, I told him I was semi-dating someone else, and we went our separate ways.
And by went our separate ways I mean I laid in bed for the next two hours and cried. It still hurts, so unbelievably much. I suck so much at being alone - I don't even know where or how to start. The last few weeks have been fine because I've surrounded myself with people at every possible moment, and it really has been good for me. On the other hand, I haven't had the opportunity to really sit back and reflect upon our relationship.
There was so much good at the beginning and it's hard to let go of that. But I also know how bad it was at the end, and I can't even think about returning to that. Still, a (not so) small part of me thinks that we could just forget that the last few weeks ever happened and return to normal. I know that that is impossible and will never actually happen, but it's easy and apparently he thinks that we can "be friends and talk every once and awhile". Whatever the hell that means.
Some part of me is glad that we talked. Another part wishes that it had never happened so that I could just pretend like life was fine and I never had to deal with Dickhead ever again. I'm not sure what to do/think when it comes to this. I know we can't get back together, but I also know that I miss him and that I still love him. My mind is very conflicted right now, and I'm not sure I know how to deal with it.
What do you suggest? How have you dealt with break-ups that you weren't quite prepared for?
And by went our separate ways I mean I laid in bed for the next two hours and cried. It still hurts, so unbelievably much. I suck so much at being alone - I don't even know where or how to start. The last few weeks have been fine because I've surrounded myself with people at every possible moment, and it really has been good for me. On the other hand, I haven't had the opportunity to really sit back and reflect upon our relationship.
There was so much good at the beginning and it's hard to let go of that. But I also know how bad it was at the end, and I can't even think about returning to that. Still, a (not so) small part of me thinks that we could just forget that the last few weeks ever happened and return to normal. I know that that is impossible and will never actually happen, but it's easy and apparently he thinks that we can "be friends and talk every once and awhile". Whatever the hell that means.
Some part of me is glad that we talked. Another part wishes that it had never happened so that I could just pretend like life was fine and I never had to deal with Dickhead ever again. I'm not sure what to do/think when it comes to this. I know we can't get back together, but I also know that I miss him and that I still love him. My mind is very conflicted right now, and I'm not sure I know how to deal with it.
What do you suggest? How have you dealt with break-ups that you weren't quite prepared for?
Monday, June 3, 2013
Men are Confusing
Men may be the most confusing things on this entire planet... Let me tell you a story.
The night I finally ended things with Dickhead, I invited over one of my best guy friends to talk things through with me. I needed someone who would be honest with me, someone I could cry in front of without getting embarrassed, but someone who was not close enough to the situation to utter those terrible words of "I told you so." So here he came, my knight in shining armor to pick me up, tell me I was beautiful and sweet and intelligent and any man would be lucky to have me, and to give me a nice long back rub that ultimately put me to sleep. What a wonderful friend.
Only it gets weird. Three days later I had made plans to go out with him and some of his friends to drink and have a good time and forget that my ex-boyfriend even existed. There I was deciding what to wear for our night on the town when he called me up and decided to confess his love to me. In detail. With lots of "I know you're not ready for this, but I don't want to be friend-zoned" and "I've been waiting to tell you all this for months." What the fuck. Like literally, what the fuck. Where did all this come from? Why tell me now? And for the love of God, couldn't you just ask me out on a date like a real person instead of calling me to confess all your feelings over the telephone? Plus, we live like ten blocks apart... Come over if you're going to get sappy.
So in an effort to pretend like this was completely normal behavior, I simply told him that I appreciated the honesty but that I needed time to figure life out for myself before I brought anyone else into it. That was complete and total truth, but he was still hurt. I barely heard from him for an entire week and a half, but in an effort to make things normal I invited him over to watch the game with me this evening. And now things are completely back to normal... Like friendly, normal conversation. Like he's my best friend who definitely doesn't have any feelings for me. Even when he left he just left without any lingering moments of deciding whether or not to kiss me.
I'm not sure that I want a relationship with him, but I obviously know that we get along and I enjoy spending time with him. I don't want to lead him on, and maybe I could one day see a future with us together, but I also know that right now he may be just what I need to get over Dickhead. We're supposed to go to a theme park on Thursday - is it a date? I'm not sure. I'll be sure to keep you posted.
What do you think is going on here? Is he simply confused about how to act around me, or is he trying to back off a little since I told him I wanted some time for myself? And more importantly, how do I act around him?
The night I finally ended things with Dickhead, I invited over one of my best guy friends to talk things through with me. I needed someone who would be honest with me, someone I could cry in front of without getting embarrassed, but someone who was not close enough to the situation to utter those terrible words of "I told you so." So here he came, my knight in shining armor to pick me up, tell me I was beautiful and sweet and intelligent and any man would be lucky to have me, and to give me a nice long back rub that ultimately put me to sleep. What a wonderful friend.
Only it gets weird. Three days later I had made plans to go out with him and some of his friends to drink and have a good time and forget that my ex-boyfriend even existed. There I was deciding what to wear for our night on the town when he called me up and decided to confess his love to me. In detail. With lots of "I know you're not ready for this, but I don't want to be friend-zoned" and "I've been waiting to tell you all this for months." What the fuck. Like literally, what the fuck. Where did all this come from? Why tell me now? And for the love of God, couldn't you just ask me out on a date like a real person instead of calling me to confess all your feelings over the telephone? Plus, we live like ten blocks apart... Come over if you're going to get sappy.
So in an effort to pretend like this was completely normal behavior, I simply told him that I appreciated the honesty but that I needed time to figure life out for myself before I brought anyone else into it. That was complete and total truth, but he was still hurt. I barely heard from him for an entire week and a half, but in an effort to make things normal I invited him over to watch the game with me this evening. And now things are completely back to normal... Like friendly, normal conversation. Like he's my best friend who definitely doesn't have any feelings for me. Even when he left he just left without any lingering moments of deciding whether or not to kiss me.
I'm not sure that I want a relationship with him, but I obviously know that we get along and I enjoy spending time with him. I don't want to lead him on, and maybe I could one day see a future with us together, but I also know that right now he may be just what I need to get over Dickhead. We're supposed to go to a theme park on Thursday - is it a date? I'm not sure. I'll be sure to keep you posted.
What do you think is going on here? Is he simply confused about how to act around me, or is he trying to back off a little since I told him I wanted some time for myself? And more importantly, how do I act around him?
Sunday, June 2, 2013
We All Make Mistakes
We all have the one boyfriend.. The one where we look back and think "was I really that drunk the entire relationship?" For me this boyfriend (thankfully) happened during my senior year of high school and I have since learned from my mistake. My mom hated him, my friends told me not to date him, and even my subconscious wondered what the hell I was doing. It was a mess, and ultimately I figured out that it wasn't going to work out. Now he's a drunk with a baby and I'm living my life in the city. Ultimate win on my part.
The more I think about it, my relationship with Dickhead was the same way. I really really really loved him, and I got so wrapped up in our relationship that I didn't know how to pull my head out of his ass. But in the end I also learned from this mistake.. When he called me a bitch in the middle of a fight, that was all I could take. I was done, and he knew it. That doesn't mean that I don't miss him or that I don't mourn what we had, because I definitely do. I miss all the good times and I miss the way he used to treat me.
However, we have to remember that we cannot date someone's potential - we have to date his reality. Once the once caring person becomes sullen and draws back, its time to move on. You may love him and want to be with him, but if he isn't 100% invested in you or your relationship then it is beyond time to move on. Be strong and find someone who makes you happy. Live your life for you, in the present. Don't be constrained by your past because we've all made mistakes - now it's your chance to learn from them.
The more I think about it, my relationship with Dickhead was the same way. I really really really loved him, and I got so wrapped up in our relationship that I didn't know how to pull my head out of his ass. But in the end I also learned from this mistake.. When he called me a bitch in the middle of a fight, that was all I could take. I was done, and he knew it. That doesn't mean that I don't miss him or that I don't mourn what we had, because I definitely do. I miss all the good times and I miss the way he used to treat me.
However, we have to remember that we cannot date someone's potential - we have to date his reality. Once the once caring person becomes sullen and draws back, its time to move on. You may love him and want to be with him, but if he isn't 100% invested in you or your relationship then it is beyond time to move on. Be strong and find someone who makes you happy. Live your life for you, in the present. Don't be constrained by your past because we've all made mistakes - now it's your chance to learn from them.
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