The Rear View Mirror

"Once you make the decision to move on, don't look back.  Your destiny will not be found in the rear view mirror"  - Mandy Hale

I spent most of my evening discussing my relationship and recent breakup with my best friend, and talking through things really helped.  He understood where I was coming from, and he actually made me think about why I had done some of the things I did.  Dickhead used to be the most loving, caring person I knew - he treated me like absolute gold.  But as things started to get tough and the distance started to become an issue, I stopped being a priority.  It sucked - it took a real toll on my self-esteem as I started to believe that I simply wasn't good enough anymore.  He started to make girl "friends" and hang out with them alone, something that I obviously was not okay with but he didn't seem to care.  Essentially, he stopped trying to make things work with me because he thought I would always be around.

Finally.. FINALLY I worked up the courage to dump his sorry ass and be myself.  I've found myself again.  I'm enjoying the things I love now... reading, writing, walking, hanging out with my friends.  I no longer feel alone and even when I do, I'm content.  Sometimes I look back and I think about texting him, but then I decide against it.  Things are much clearer looking through the rear view mirror than they ever were looking over the hood.

I realize that there is nothing left there for me anymore.  I don't want someone in my life who will treat me like an option.  I'm intelligent, I'm (fairly) funny, and I figure that I'm at least an 8 when I try to do something with myself.  I don't need someone in my life who doesn't want to be there and I refuse to be with someone who does not make me feel special.  I want flowers.  I want sweet messages.  I want you to pick up the goddamn phone and send me a text in the middle of the day because you can.  If you can tweet - you can text.

I deserve that.  We all deserve that.  So screw you Dickhead... Don't bother waiting around for my call because it's not coming.  The image I'm seeing in my rear view mirror isn't one that I want to see again.